getting the best girl to build the greatest man @dannyzoucha

I’m specifically speaking to young men, here, but if you’re an old horse and this message resonates with you, so much the better. And don’t worry, ladies. There’s a love letter to you as well.

Boys, I look out on you from my beach-side shanty on Friday and Saturday nights, whooping and hollering, generally making noise and a nuisance of yourself as you break everything from beer bottles to little girls’ hearts.

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Now, the girls, they’ve got their own set of issues, and I’ve addressed them. However, never let the way they act on the outside betray you into thinking that that’s the way they are. It is my opinion that while every girl is good, she’ll act bad in order to get a boy’s attention, if that boy wants a bad-acting girl.

But bro, where’s that going to get you?

It’s going to get you screwing around, sowing your wild oats all over town with girls that you don’t respect and wouldn’t think of “bringing home to mama.” Except, when the hormone-injected, grain fed milk comes so free and easy, it’s going to be awfully difficult to switch to a premium, organic, free range style milk that costs a bit in order to taste when and if you decide to “settle down.”

Are you following my euphemisms here, Tiger?

See, you do that, and bounce yourself from girl to o-so-willing girl, never planting a tree worth growing, and all you’re going to be left with is a field of wild oats that taste like shit that no one wants in their porridge. See what I’m saying? That field is your life, amigo. Wild oats suck. Orchards are where it’s at, and you’re not doing yourself, your temporarily trampy girl, or anyone else any favours by screwing around the way you do.

YOU MAKE THEM GOOD GIRLS GO BAD

Because while all girls start good, if they act bad enough for long enough eventually they turn into bad girls. And if you screw around with them too long, then pretty soon you develop an energetic odour about you that says to all the decent girls out there that you are not someone they want to bring home to pa.

And it is then, my brother, that your woes truly begin.

If you have any interest at all in becoming a decent, contributing member of society, with all the privileges that go with it, doing it on your own is a hell of a task.

It’s the good girls that shape the greatest men.

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